Confused State

Well opened my browser to write something as it has been more than a week since I wrote something but I am confused what to write. At times you feel like saying so many things but you couldn't, dunno why.
I have many things to share but I am confused where to start. Shall I start from short supply of fuel in my country or shall I talk about good for nothing politicians who are not even able to form one government... Do you know that Nepal has one of the largest constituent assembly... 601 membered. For one member I am spending 100 K per month. Imagine my expenditure to these good for nothing brats. No... I am not rich like Switzerland. I am as poor as African countries. So why I am feeding these politicians? Coz I am held for ransom. There is not one good soul thinking for me. I can't expect much from poor guys because their time is spent to find kerosene and gas. Middle class? Nah... they don't have time either... their time is spent on queue for petrol. Rich... nah... they don't have time from their own business. Politicians? Common... they are not even able to form one government. How am I supposed to expect good from them. Ah... yeah... there were few intellectuals... but they left me for good and went to some western countries... after their studies, rather than thinking for me they, they thought about themselves and their own future. A Future where I don't have any space... a future without me... they will come back for few day... consider themselves as NRN and possibly try to plan to flow in money for my future... Only plans... But they say that I am sustaining because of remittance they send... NRN... Shall I say Non Required Nepalese... Those who left me when I needed them the most... Some said that I am not giving them opportunities so they left... Did somebody ask them what they did to create one?
I have been raped repeatedly in my life. First they were Ranas... then Shahs... now politicians. It's not that I don't have possibilities... I am keeping on saying that I have Petrol... but nobody is interested... I have gas.... Nobody is interested. Politicians ask for commission even if some proposals comes... and then that proposal is shelved...
I don't know what to say... but I do have hopes that someday somebody will take the leadership and will keep me in shape before I am considered as a failed state.